DAYS OF OUR LIVES!

THE COUNTDOWN: FINAL REVENGER

Mon, 14 May 2007 03:20:14 GMT

AP MUSIC THEORY EXAM IN 8 HRS. AND 40 MINS. AND COUNTING.

WISH ME LUCK

SOCCER QUEST ! : DAY 1

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 23:18:07 GMT

today marks the first day of official practice for me and colin. if you haven't heard, both me and colin are working on our soccer game so we might have the possibility of making our college's respective club team. colin looks like he has a hard road because Penn State's college club team is 5th in the nation and 1rst in the northeast, but he also has somewhat of an advantage because he has played soccer before. The situation for myself is also looking bleak. i have never played organized soccer in my life and am still trying to learn the fundamentals, but i bet that furman's club team is a little worse than penn state's club team.

oh yea i decided that i am attending Furman University. (any FU jokes posted in this space)

so anywho, today we worked on some basic passing and corner kicks. i realized today 1. how hard it is to do a semi-decent corner kick and 2. how hard it is to recieve and control a semi-decent corner kick. I also realized how bad my volleys are. I have alot to work on. the mood after todays practice was somber and frustrated, but i am not discouraged. today's practice reiterated something to me of which i am already aware: i really suck at soccer. tryouts are a little more than 4 months away. i will try to keep a running journal of SOCCER QUEST !

mike
Monday, April 23, 2007

another video clip

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 00:43:41 GMT

it seems like all i do now is put funny videos on my eljay

anywho heres one from Peyton's SNL debut

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZpPf-q2_es&NR

funn video

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 00:39:25 GMT

here is a funny video i just found on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4&NR

quick post

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 03:17:00 GMT

more on today's soccer game later, but here is a great video of some absolutely rediculous goals by stephen gerrard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJGZCYqeK6M

this is today's update.

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 00:15:01 GMT

hokay, so, we had a lacrosse game today at gulf coast. pretty sweet you might say WRONG. basically what happened was 1. colin scores a goal in the 3rd quarter that would have given us the win in overtime except for the fact that the official flat out did not see the goal. ok, so after that bs, we go to overtime, control the ball for all but 10 seconds, and they end up scoring to win the game. basically it was just kind of rediculous, and they were kind of over-reacting when they won, but ski came over to us while his team was celebrating and basically was like "yea i know you guys should've won", so i was happy that he did that and it showed alot of class on his part. so i wasn't too upset about the game because i basically feel like we won.

anywho so i dunno if you all knew this, but i ordered these soccer jerseys like a month and a half ago and they finally came in, and let me tell you, they are SICK!! i got 2 thierry henry jerseys: one is an arsenal red and white home jersey, the other is a white france national team jersey. so i think im just going to wear a 3 soccer shirt rotation the rest of the year/ my life.

anywho i gotta go. peace out homie. AIGHT?

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 23:01:20 GMT

this is just a quick update:

so eric johannsen hasn't been at school recently, and i'm pretty sure its something kind of serious although i don't know for sure, but i'm only asking so that if you have time you could say a prayer for him. thanks.

quick update

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 01:42:02 GMT

so daylight savings time is sweet but it stinks when it comes on a sunday and you lose an hour because of it.

oh yea, i am listening to noah's apathy's album "something to divide", which i think was their latest one, and i enjoy it alot. when i first heard it like last summer i think was way to hard on it because i was being a pompus prick and being like "yea i could play those guitar parts" and all that other crap, but now that im listening to it without bias i realized that its a really good album, and although neither stevey bones nor the other guy are virtuoso guitarists, their guitar playing on this album is excellent, especially when you consider the level of talent that is out there today, you know with like "fall out boy" and those pos's. anywho thats it. goodnight

so im gonna cream over pandora for a little here

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 04:09:42 GMT

wow. great website (www.pandora.com) if your looking for new music and want to hear new stuff, or if you just want great, high quality online radio free, this is the site. its everything i would want in a radio station and more. you can create as many stations as you want depending on the artist you choose, and you can also make your station more multivariable by adding artists to a station you've already created. i've heard alot of music i would almost never, ever hear in one night than i have in the past 4 months. and the sweet thing is that its pretty much all good music. i've listened to probably 15 songs tonight if not more, and i didnt like probably 2 of the songs. anywho i would strongly suggest checking it out.

update

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 00:39:48 GMT

so today in music theory, everyone wanted to shoot each other with a gun i think. we are doing this listening thing where we hear stuff on a cd and then have to write it out, and its way harder than we've ever done it. so naturally everyone was kind of frustrated. and then Mrs. D got frustrated cus we weren't getting it. so basically it was like an hour and a half of hell. except for 5 minutes inbetween the period when we had bagels.

anyways so i ordered this thierry henry france jersey on february 3rd off of ebay, and i have been anxiously awaiting its arrival. so yea its been like almost a month now since i won it on ebay, but alot of the guy's feedback is like "great jersey, really long time to ship" so. plus the guy is shipping from bangkok. what im really trying to say is "i want my frickin jersey!". speaking of henry, he has been kind of crappy as of late. but it just came out a week ago that he's been playing with a bad foot for like 2 weeks so hopefully he'll be able to come back full strength.

speaking of soccer, me and colin are trying to find a recreational soccer league for like 18 and up, but the problem is that there aren't any in our area. so we might try to start up our own soccer league and call it "the premiership", but we'd need at least 4 teams to make it good, so if anyone is interested in playing soccer over the summer, give me a holla yo. peaz out!

quckie

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 17:43:20 GMT

i was looking for some christopher walken snl stuff on you tube, to no avail. but i found this website that has links to most of his great stuff.

http://www.milkandcookies.com/keywords/christopherwalken/

my favorite sketch of his, by far, is the continental. be sure to check it out.

all star weekend

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 04:35:25 GMT

so i dunno if you all have been paying attention, but nba all star weekend has been sweet this year. on friday night they had the celebrity game, which is usually horrible, but was actually really funny because a. the wnba women sucked, b. carrot top is now on steriods and c. at the end of the game, some former NBA player just threw on a jersey and starting playing with them, and he ended up tip slamming a miss at the end of the game which was sweet.

then we move on to tonight, which was also pretty sweet. the team shooting competition thing was ok, and the skills challenge was allright too, but things really heated up when charles barkley took on veteran nba referee dick beveta in a race. to give you a history of how this race got started, charles barkley, filling in for an announcer during a sacramento game, mentioned to marv alberts that he could beat dick beveta in a race saying "he's a 67 year old man, are you kidding me?" well, dick beveta took the challenge, and much to the dismay of charles barkley, many NBA players took dick beveta over charles in the race. well, the race was hilarious, and charles ended up showboating by jogging backwards to cross the finish line, only to afterwords trip and fall on his back. anywho great stuff.

then the three point shootout, which was also good, in the first round, gilbert arenas was rediculously hot, and he got about 23 out of 30 possible points. but the kapono guy from miami lit it up in the final round and tied the record for most points in the final round with 24. obviously he ended up winning over arenas and dirk.

then the ever popular dunk competition, which afterwards, i have to say, that i was impressed. the only bad entry this year was tyrus thomas. the most creative dunk of the night was the dunk by dwight howard. he was thrown an ally oop by his team mate, and he went up as high as he could to get the ball, and slapped a sticker with his face on it on the backboard while he was up there to show how high we was, then dunked it. unfortunately he got kind of screwed on it, and didnt advance to the finals. but the best dunk of the night was the gerald green dunk over nate robinson. it was hilarious because they got a cardboard cut out of nate robinson and placed it under the hoop so gerald green could dunk on it. but eventually nate robinson was persuaded to get hisself under there to be tea bagged. anywho, the ending dunks were kind of dissapointing, but i hope to see dwight howard and gerald green back next year. i like where the dunk competition is going. there is alot more creativity involved and i definetly think that we might be seeing some next generation dunks, or like people jumping off a box from the 3 point line and dunking it kind of stuff, pretty soon.

quick update

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 03:57:26 GMT

so i was pretty sick for like a day and a half, coming between tuesday night and all of wednesday. tuesday night i slept like 4 hours probably, and then on wednesday i went to dr. medina who told me i have ovarian cancer. actually i think it might have been strep throat, but ovarian cancer sounds right.anywho i had to get an antibiotic shot in my butt which is still sore, but today i felt much better.

so today i go to school to get in the team lacrosse photo at 5 pm,and as I'm walking into the gym, the time was probably 4:57 or so, lewton and friedman come out and are like "oh we just took the picture". i was kind of pissed because a. lewton is rediculous about timing. like if he wants you to be at practice at 330 he really means be ready by 325. and b. because it just seemed like he didn't care that i wasn't in the picture. but whatever its just a team photo, and maybe they can photoshop me in with like a mythical blade and dragon skin armor or something.

so the best song on the fifa 07 soundtrack ive decided is this song "understand" by this netherlands band called the sheer. i couldn't find it on itunes but i looked up their myspace. if you want to check it out:

http://www.myspace.com/thesheer

allright later peeps.

quick update

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 04:31:32 GMT

so we had our first regular season lax game tonight. it was a 8-3 loss to canterbury. I was surprised at how good they were even with stapleton gone, but i still don't think they are better than last year. anywho it was a tough night for both sides. our defense got challenged like every 5 seconds, so i guess it was a good practice from that standpoint. overall we just need alot more work and hopefully well get better.

probably the most ironic part of the game for me at least was the fact that on the bus ride up, i told kyle thomas and someone else that like my stick was unbreakable since it didn't get a dent in it from an entire season last year. and like 20 minutes into the game my stick broke and i had to borrow dane's long pole. consequently though i started to throw much better than i have been, which was sweet.

anywho what else? our bball won our district championship game against neumann, which was sweet revenge from last year when we lost to them in the final. this was by far the best game we played against them so it felt good. also all our regional playoff games are now at home, so that is pretty sweet as well.

colin's new band, coolan's drunken pirates, is turning out pretty good. so far we have most of "dont fear the reaper" down and "double vision". don't fear the reaper is sweet, but im not sure how were going to sing double vision yet. but anyways we plan on doing some led zep covers as well so hopefully well be sweet pretty soon. the band is: me-guitar+vocals, colin-keyboards+vocals, alan Gao-sweet bass action, kyle thomas-drums and mark aughton-shredding lead guitar. so basicaly its every band i've ever had except hopefully well actually play a gig this time.

random rant

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 03:20:01 GMT

so i was thinking this week about christian music, simply because i have a hard time listening to it because a. its all the same and b. most of it kind of sucks. but i could never really figure out why there were never any really different christian artists that are celebrated. and then after thinking about it, i think i figured it out: these bands aren't really "artists" at all, and what they are making isn't really "art". what i mean is that they simply use music as another form of promoting the christian faith and to inspire the mass populus. this is sounding so obvious, but i guess what it realized is that it can't be art, and people can't NOT get it. they have to be able to connect with the song using lyrics on a spiritual and emotional level, and that can only be done in the mainstream with popular music. I guess that what is really happening is that a "christian artist" has been given a different definition than a "christian who is an artist".

an artist has what people call "artistic freedom" meaning that he or she can create any piece of art with any medium and style he or she chooses to create with. that can be clay, paint, drawings, ect. but lets say you choose to draw or paint or whatever a picture of jesus on the cross i guess. and lets say you draw a really grotesque painting of Jesus, and lets just say you did it to symbolize the ugliness of all of our sin on Jesus. that makes decent logical sense, right? now lets say you were to unvail your picture to the world. what would there reaction be? some people would be able to look at it and understand what you were trying to do with the piece, but i am willing to bet the majority would look and the piece and say that it is a grotesque portrait of Jesus and that it is heresy and all kinds of stuff like that. now take the same idea of Jesus on the cross, and draw it very human like and very "beautiful", and your work will be praised by almost everyone.

This same idea works with music as well, and obviously I'm trying to parallel the music industry and the "art" industry. make a christian pop song, and you'll almost definetly get play on the radio, but lets say you make a metal song about jesus, and i can almost garuntee you won't get on the christian radio. sure you might actually get on a rock station or a metal station, and actually just thinking about it, shouldn't that be the point? shouldn't the music be able to break down barriers of what people think christian is and isn't. isn't getting play on a secular station what alot of christian bands would want? I won't say that it doesn't happen, because i know it does (creed, even thought they claim they weren't christian, probably some other bands, i can't remember the other one recently but you get the idea.)but it doesn't happen often enough.

i guess the main point im trying to make is that the christian music industry is actually being counter productive. if the main goal of christianity is to spread the word about Jesus, which I know that it is, then being able to bridge the gap between christian and secular should be part of the plan. think about it. there is a crappy song on 99x lets say, but then someone changes the station, happens to land on the christian station, and hears the same, if not better music. would that person just stop for a second to listen to it? couldn't their ideas about christian music, if not christianity, change? i would hope so. im not saying that christian artists and the christian music industry in general is wrong with what they are doing, because obviously what they are putting out there is to help people feel good about themselves and to have stronger faith in Jesus, but the problem is that there is now a box, and if your music is outside of that box, your not supposively good enough for the christian radio station. ok granted, this is the music industry and pop culture in general, so maybe i am way off on this, and don't be afraid to tell me that i am, but im pretty sure that i am dead on with this.

perfect example of christian music crossing over that made a difference in someones life: Five iron frenzy. i don't think i've ever heard them on the radio, or the christian radio for that matter, but here's a band that was on the outskirts of mainstream music. and why did i first listen to them? because they were good, and they're music was good. and granted, i did believe in God, but i wasn't a bleeding heart christian, and it didn't matter to me that theyre music talked about God. now maybe i am biased because i did believe in God. i dunno, but hopefully someone will back me up on this one.

so that is my rant. feel free to please leave any comment whatsoever.

super bowl thoughts

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 04:03:43 GMT

1. actually a pretty good game, lots of turnovers made it exciting. even though i actually missed the devon hester return for a td, it doesn't make it less amazing.

2. i can only think of one other person to talk about, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is rex grossman. flat out blew it. he had a chance to shut everyone up and make them believers, but he frickin blew it. worst performance i've seen by a QB in a superbowl. i would say worse than even Kerry collin's performance in the 2000 superbowl because a. collins was completely outclassed by a sick ravens D and b. even if he had played well, he couldn't have won the game for them. but grossman doesn't have that luxury. first of all, all he had to do was manage the game, and they could have won it easily. the defense was holding up even when they were on the field for like 50 minutes straight. but no, he had to fumble the ball like 20 times so as to give them no chance whatsoever. and even after that, they are still only down 22-17 in the fourth. then he throws a horrible pass to mushin muhammed that gets picked for a td. so now its like 29-17. and then what happens? he had bernard berrian in the middle of the field, wide open for at least like a 40 yard gain if not a td, and he underthrows him by like 10 yards and he gets picked again. granted, the ball was slippery, and yes i know i could never play QB in the nfl in my life, but Peyton had to deal with the same crappy conditions with an even tougher defensive opponent. but then again we are talking about peyton manning.

3. my MVP award goes to:

TIE (SEXY REXY AND PRINCE)

why sexy rexy? because he was huge in this game. whenever the colts needed a big play, he stepped up and delivered. just an incredible performance.

but let me just say to start off that ever since they announced prince was going to be the halftime show, i was very very excited. and of course the legend of prince has been built up thanks to dave chappelle and charlie murphy's true hollywood stories. but seriously, hands down, best halftime show i have ever seen. the pyrotechnics and the effects were great, and prince was incredible. he did alot of sweet covers, and was great on guitar and vocals. and how sweet was that guitar he had when he played purple rain!? overall just an incredible performance. he made the rolling stones performance last year look like a bunch of amatuers were playing. my favorite part though was that the crowd was eating it up. especially during purple rain, when the whole stadium was singing, it was just sweet.

so congrats prince and rex grossman. you guys deserve it.

ps. as a response to this post, put who you think will be the starting QB for the bears next year.

quick update

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 02:38:46 GMT

inspired by colin's foos related update here is mine:

so im my tournament group I am with kyle thomas (widely regarded as one of the best, if not the best foos player in the league), greg beretta (young gun with an attitude that says "who cares, its only foos") and allie g (stupid girl with no skillz). so in my first match kyle handed it to me pretty securely, as i lost 10-6, 10-7. my next match was against greg. at the beginning of the match i had moved myself up to a 5-0 lead, but then came the comeback. I stopped lucking out on goals and greg actually made some, and before i knew it he had gone on a 9-2 run to make the score 9-7. But experience ended up downing the young gun, and i came back and won 10-9. The second game was more of the same, but this time greg ran the comeback and he won 10-8. the third game was intense. I was fatigued from the previous 2 games, because my strategy is basically hit it as hard as i can, and i made some dumb mistakes that made the game 5-5. But then greg broke down, and i was able to rip 3 consecutive goals from mid-field to go up 8-5 and end up winnning 10-6. The allie game was of course a joke, and i beat her 10-5, 10-1. so im in the tournament, but because i failed to beat kyle, I now face Eamonn Giblin, foos legend, in the first round. But if i can somehow take him out, i will have a good shot at making the final three round robin.

in other news i got a letter today saying that i got accepted to Depauw university, which is pretty sweet. they even gave me a scholarship too. but instead of being like "oh now i dont have to do work" im actually kind of wanting to work harder because my hard work has actually paid off. anywho so yea. pretty sweet.

have a good night

random sports stuff

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 03:42:55 GMT

So in almost exactly 1 week the superbowl will be here. In all honesty i dont even care about the game. I was thinking today, and I actually think I'm more excited for the Prince halftime show than the actual game because : a. i hate both teams and b. prince is sweet. Does this superbowl remind anyone of a superbowl that would happen in your madden franchise when your simulate and your team fails to make the superbowl? to me it does. Its pretty much the most uninspiring matchup I could think of. two uninspiring teams, and one of them has a giant douchebag for a middle linebacker. but whatever.

so today i played soccer with eamonn and colin and spencer, and i realized how awful I am at it. Eamonn and Colin have at least control over what they're doing, but i can't kick a ball to save my life. so i decided that i need to learn how to kick by going over to andrew's house and using his wall, or otherwise trying to find another wall i can kick against. I'm also thinking about getting a thierry henry jersey on ebay, so maybe i can atleast look sweet while sucking at soccer.

anywho im going to bed. talk to you guys later
]
mike

is there a god part 7

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 03:14:52 GMT

ok so i will update while listening to seal's kiss from a rose like the 30th time through.

so Kyle's youth pastor Tom lent me this book called "evidence that demands a verdict", which is supposed to be a logical argument for christianity. some thoughts on the book

1) the guy who wrote it writes at one part in the intro that the book and the evidence does not 100 percent prove christian beliefs true, but it gives the best evidence it can for it. im not really sure what i think about this honestly. maybe its a good thing and maybe its a bad thing

2) its written in "note format" i guess, which is ok, but not very pleasing to the eyes at parts.

3) I've decided that you really have to trust the guy, because there is so much information that it would take forever for someone to check out all his sources and stuff.

4) he has alot of quotes from random guys that sometimes arent very convincing of anything, and sometimes are frustrating/annoying.

overall i feel like maybe its too biased in favor of christianity, because the way its written its obvious that this guy is a christian. that kind of puts me off because it makes me think that its not that objective. but im gonna keep reading it until i finish it i guess. i got nothing better to do so. plus i think its important.

anywho ive decided that i need to cut back on the cursing. recently i have been on a binge, but my mom has reminded me that its not that funny and that its crude so.

basketball is pretty sweet. we beat neumann like 69-41 on saturday. i played pretty bad but we won so it didnt even matter.

anywho i hope everyone has a good week.

happy MLK

sweet song

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 00:33:24 GMT

Seal-kiss from a rose

there used to be a greying tower alone on the sea
you became the light on the dark side of me
love remains a drug thats the high and not the pill
but did you know
that when it snows,
my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen

baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
ooh, the more i get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah
now that your rose is in bloom, a light hits the gloom on the grey

there is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say
you remain my power, my pleasure, my pain
baby
to me your like a growing addiction that i can't deny
won't you tell me is it healthy baby?
but did you know, that when it snows, my eyes become large
and the light that you shine can be seen.

baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
ooh, the more i get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah
now that your rose is in bloom, a light hits the gloom on the grey

I've been kissed by a rose on the grey...

there is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say
you remain my power, my pleasure, my pain
to me your like a growing addiction that i can't deny
won't you tell me is it healthy baby?
but did you know, that when it snows, my eyes become large
and the light that you shine can be seen.

baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
ooh, the more i get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah
now that your rose is in bloom, a light hits the gloom on the grey

yes,I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
ooh, the more i get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah
now that your rose is in bloom, a light hits the gloom on the grey

now that your rose is in bloom
a light hits the gloom on the grey

is there really a god: part 6(?)

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 01:49:16 GMT

this entry is probably going to seem really really rediculous, and i cant even really explain it myself but im going to try.

so i watched the avatar season 2 finale last night, and since i have been swept with strong emotions. first of all, it seems rediculous cus 1. its just a television show and 2. its also just a kids show, but i think it was mainly the idea of what happens in the episode that makes it so powerful for me.

the thing that struck a chord with me the most in the episode was that the main character has to choose between his "destiny" and the girl he loves, and ends up basically dying for her, even tbough he ends up living. i think it just really got me thinking again about what love really is, and it brought me back to an idea i thought about a long time ago, and i think it still stands true, which is that true love is sacrifice. this directly relates to how Jesus's love for people was evident when he died on the cross for everyone. i dunno if this is making any sense, im having a hard time putting down my thoughts.

its also amazing how i felt today. All day i felt strong emotions, and i think i totally forgot what it feels like to really love someone so strongly. its an emotion i havent felt in a long time.

i think the most rediculous thing about these emotions is that they were triggered by a tv show. It made me wonder how i could react so strongly to a tv show and show almost no reaction to anything said in church or in fca or anything christian i guess is what i want to say. i just find it strange, but i think maybe its because they portray their love as so pure in the show that i havent seen a version like it in reality in a while. i dunno, maybe im just completely insane.

anywho so in other news i went to get my eyes checked today, and like 5 minutes after they dialated my pupils i started to feel really dizzy like i was going to faint. then i broke out into this sweat like i was breaking a fevor or something. then i ended up vomiting for some reason. Dr. Poeltl said that it was a rare reaction to the dialation, but it was just really wierd. it was like i got anesthetics or something, like i felt like i was going to pass out, but i never really lost conciousness. anywho that was my day.

i hope everyone is doing ok.

have a great night

is the a god part 4

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 23:56:39 GMT

so i just have one thing really to say in this update:

I have recently not been as hard on myself and "done what i need to do" so to speak, and the effects are twofold. on one hand i am much more relaxed and not as tense, but at the same time i also feel like i have become increasingly more lustful since doing so. im not really sure what to think. its kind of like a lose lose situation, because if im hard on myself then i feel like crap, but then if im not i start to become more lustful. i need to find a healthy medium between the two i guess. the other possibility i came up with was to cut off my genitals.

i like to call that second one "plan B"

is there a God: part 3 (maybe im just going crazy)

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 02:42:06 GMT

ok some things i would like to blurb on:

1) maybe im just being rediculous and freaking out over nothing. I read heather's and james comments, and it made me think about a couple of things:

a. I understand that what I am asking is an impossibility. obviously no one can be Jesus or God. but i think, and I am assuming that the Bible is valid for a second, that maybe what I'm asking isn't impossible. there's that one verse like phillipians 4:13 that says i think "I can do all things through christ who strengthens me". i think i remember another one like that, but I guess what I'm saying is that I don't think that reaching a level of conciousness where I look at people as God does is entirely impossible. obviously i dont think i will be perfect at it, but i think it can happen. I've mostly always felt, especially when I'm down, that to passively accept where I am spiritually and to passively accept my weaknessess was the same as giving up because things were too hard. I'm not sure if thats like "who i am as a person" or something, but I do believe it.

b. Obviously i dont think there is anything wrong with having a girlfriend unless it's like when i tried to have a girlfriend in like 8th grade where the sole purpose was to "fool around". and i think its almost a necessity to be attracted to the opposite sex if your going to date someone. It's not like i think that thinking someone is attractive is bad. I find alot of girls attractive, but the problem is when i take it farther than just attraction to lust.I understand the difference between just viewing someone as like sick hot and masturbating to them.

c. I don't think i can comment on love because im not sure i understand it right now.

d. after reading james's comment: I know your right james. i've always been too hard on myself. but i dunno i do it in alot of stuff so maybe thats just who i am. im pretty sure that i am borderline insane perfectionist, so maybe thats why i am so hard on myself.

e.obviously i don't want to hate myself, but i dont want to sacrifice my morals/standards because I feel I am an abomination to them. this probably makes me insane because my standards are unrealistic, but i dunno, i dont think it is a bad thing to strive for perfection.

ok now on to the segment where i say what really grinds my gears:

so in BORAT the movie, there is a scene where he is at this church and everyone is speaking in tongues and running around and stuff, and when i watched it i found it kind of unbelievable, like they were just putting on a show. obviously i dont really know because im not them, and if somehow they are just really that passionate or whatever more power to them. but i really felt like that was just a show. plus i know people spoke in tongues in the bible, but im not really sure i understand it. anyways i'd like peoples opinions on it if they have any.

thanks for tuning in.

ps. im an idiot because i left a crapload of homework for tonight and probably wont get it done.

is there really a god?: part 2 of the indefinetly long series

Sat, 25 Nov 2006 00:34:14 GMT

ok so this is my second post on if there is really a God , which i think really a journey of self discovery and the discovery of truth in general. the first part is below this post like a couple of things down.

so in all honesty I havent made any real progress on my "spiritual journey". but as many of you know i am currently dealing with the idea of true love or if our love is just lust. thinking about it now, all i really want is to be able to look at someone the way that Jesus looked at people, except without the whole judgement thing cus he was God. I want to look at everyone without prejudice or preordained thoughts or impressions. I especially just want to see women the way God would look at them. honestly I just hate myself and the horny, lusty person I have become.

I also have been thinking that maybe I have been making an idol out of this girl that i like. I mean i feel like i wont ever deserve her, but I think maybe my focus should be on trying to be worthy of God and not her.

Anywho i don't know if I am any closer to understanding if there is a God or not, but i just thought i would make a quick update. I will make another if i make any progress.

mike

just call me the teaze

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 03:22:59 GMT

so yea. I've been battling with the idea of love lately, and I'm not sure what to think about it. On one hand, I feel like true love is impossible, and I'm talking about like "i want to marry you" love as opposed to like brotherly/sisterly love. I feel like basically all of the time that "love" is really just a masking of our sexual attraction to someone. so basically its lust not love but we pretend like it is. And i've been finding that alot in my relationships with girls. This of course makes me wonder if there is ever really true love. But then I have this relationship with this one girl whom I cannot get over (im pretty sure most of you know who i am talking about) and I dont know whether to believe that it could actually be some form of love or possibly me just hiding it from myself really well. I dunno, I dont know what to think.

this kind of brings me to my second line of thinking, which is that if I am to really know love, I have to be free of all lusts. But of course, this is basically impossible, which I think led me to believe that true love was impossible. so i dunno. all i do know is that i really hate myself when I lust over girls and i like to pretend to blow my brains out with a gun made from my hand every time i think of it. so yea i dunno what to do.

anyways our basketball team looks pretty sweet. we beat naples tonight 96-85. mind you the game finished in regulation. i think we had 59 points in the second half so, it was a pretty rediculous game all around. anywho i'm excited about our season. I also heard that our girls got crushed by barron collier, who is the defending state champs so yea.

I am actually driving now for anyone who didn't know.

goodnight princes of sea lab
you kings of the ocean.